How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
Solid 5/10? I can sympathize. East Euro impoverish-core decor? Understandable. What I'm throwing red flags on is her ability to look like she's being sodomized by an industrial fruit juicer every time he makes contact with her clitoris. #pass
When ur cum face cant be distinguished from the unfortunate soul paid to scrub porcelain at Taco Bell on Cinco de Mayo, it may be time to reevaluate your idea of eroticism. Or just watch this techno freddy fuck instead. Like I give a bullcrap.
[alaska zade] Interesting girl. Apparently she's a full blown carpet bombing lesbian that decided to make sex videos with her guy friends out of boredom and curiosity. The real time documenting is pretty unique. edit:she already quit lol.
Galaxy Gas Gwendolyn seems to have compromised her last functioning brain cell with some combination of synthetic drugs and pineapple White Claws. Chances of homey swiping right in a coastal city ever again? Absolutely fuckin zero. Probably.
Quite possibly the most egregious abuse of power to ever grace my 14" Compaq Presario computer monitor. Mind you, this is coming from a man that's sat through all 73 unfiltered minutes of Edward Penishands. My voice matters.
First time my ass. She's about as much a sex tape virgin as I am a calorie counter at an all you can eat Chinese buffet. And let me tell you Jack; I've taken more than one wok outta commission once the crab rangoon starts hittin trays. Respectfully.
[Lama Grey] up at bat again. This (French?) testicle gremlin is simply way too popular to not follow up on. I mean, just look at her list of interests: "Dorama, anime, horses, video game. Walk, smoking weed. Play with cock) "chefskiss.gif
If this is happening in the walls of average American bedrooms, then The Nature Channel should start updating those sex ed videos. I didn't see a single antelope.
She surprisingly lacked the standard amount of lip filler that could inflate the tire of a corn harvester, so the authenticity stood a chance. Then Dames Jean enters the room from out of nowhere and took this one from "believable" to "autistic".
Another gaggle of beatniks that are one step closer to finding a way to fit more military equipment in their gravy cave than an aircraft carrier. Emphasis on the mini gorlock seen at the 5:45 mark. I'll never look at cave diving the same again.
Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino... but trust me - there isn't enough blackmarket dick pills to hammer through this one.
What's his secret to success? It's simple really. Just inject 75 milligrams of Dbol directly into your scrotum every 3 days, and you too can gallivant around the neighborhood in seek of sub-500 TikToker's in dire need of a hospital visit.
I'd be a little less worried about the buttsex and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran over his dick and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there my guy? Even the lions on Animal Planet don't treat their meat that badly.
I remember the first time I came across Indica Flower. I feared the aroma of mango locking gel and overgrown granola bush was going to be overwhelming for anyone willing to costar. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was pineapple.
Advertise whatever sigma male, MGTOW LARP fantasy you want. But let me tell ya something... you just haven't lived a fulfilling life until walking in on your solid 3/10 getting shined up by the guy who considers Volkswagen a luxury vehicle.
Supplementing your lifestyle with an OnlyFans side hustle starts to make a lot of sense when the dichotomy between the most boring white-wall environment and the kind of tits that end silver anniversary marriages hits you point blank. #girlpwr
